Have you ever tried to use one of those wind up phone chargers? From personal experience, they are like the unscratchable itch, a pursuit that feels foolish and desperate but insatiable. It is true, that little light gives you hope and makes you push past the wrist pain and the shame of needing your iphone that desperately.

I saw my buddy Rich Werner, the guy who designed Plants VS. Zombies, post a list of every job he ever had in order on Facebook. That, and trying to put my head into the characters of WOW Mart’s little world got me thinking about my past jobs. So, here are my jobs in order. I never did make it to college. You should post yours as well in the comments.

  • After School Paper Routes
  • Trap Boy at Clay Pigeon Shooting Range
  • 3am paper routes with my mom
  • King’s Table Buffet Dishwasher, line cook, prep cook
  • Sign Shop making decals and signs, designing for local business, vehicle lettering
  • Young Life Student Staff
  • Abby’s Pizza delivery boy and dish washer
  • Gym front counter
  • Chevron graveyard shift clerk, gas pumper, sometimes car washer
  • Graphic Designer for Hardin Optical Telescope company, designing ads and catalogs
  • Night vision lens assembly line, cleaning lenses in potent chemicals
  • Another Sign Shop
  • Self Employed doing odd jobs while trying to make it in a rock band
  • Flash animator, animating math problems and doing web design for a friend’s design company
  • Short stint at Disney working on children’s book art
  • Self employed (Axe Cop happens here after a couple months of being totally unemployed)
  • Writer/producer on Axe Cop show
  • Writer/Story Editor on VeggieTales in the House.

What’s funny is how much this list leaves out. This is just the stuff I did to make money. I spend a good 85% of my time working on things that make me no money. Still, even post the success of Axe Cop, I live this way. Probably now more than ever actually. It would be fascinating and much more time consuming to write out that list.

I leave you with one more parting gift. This guide to hand to hand combat with bears. Please enjoy, and share if you haven’t done so in a while, it helps more than you know.

 

-Ethan

 

I could go on